Scary Books

My 8-year-old has just discovered a love for reading after finding a series of scary books. The problem is that he is now afraid to sleep alone, turn off the light, go down into the basement, and so on. Should I forbid these books, or is there another way to handle this?

Understanding the Impact of Scary Books

Children get their ideas about the world outside the home from what they read or see on TV. We live in a society that is, in many ways, safer than it has ever been. Yet, the media often provides a distorted view of the world, making it seem much more dangerous than it actually is. For more on this, see my article, "Dangerous Thoughts," from January 1997.

Children can be traumatized by both real and fictional frightening events and creatures. What’s important is that you don't leave your child alone in the world depicted by these scary books. It's too late to simply forbid them — he's already been frightened by them. Instead, help him understand that the books’ portrayal of the world is not an accurate reflection of reality.

How to Help Your Child Cope with Fear

1. Read Together: Read one of the scary books with him, or have him read it to you. Stop frequently to discuss what is and isn't realistic in the story.
2. Research for Perspective: Go to the library together and research some of the things mentioned in the book. Find out what actually happens in the world and, if it does happen, how often it really occurs.
3. Gain Mastery Over Fear: Kids often read scary books or watch frightening TV shows to gain a sense of mastery over the dangers they perceive. Your son can achieve this mastery by learning what is real and what isn’t, armed with facts and statistics. This knowledge can help him laugh off the scary elements in the books. Once he understands they aren't real, he may decide not to read them or may continue reading without feeling traumatized.

Supporting Your Child's Emotional Needs

While your son is working through his fears, be gentle with him:

• Provide Comfort: Allow him to use a nightlight or let him go to sleep with the light on. Leave the door open so he can hear you in the living room.
• Offer Reassurance: Accompany him to the basement and point out how impossible it is for anyone or anything to get in. Let him talk about what he's scared of.
• Take Practical Precautions: Take extra precautions to make him feel safer, as long as these precautions remain reasonable. Reassure him that you are always nearby and will hear him if he calls.
• Limit Exposure to Other Sources of Fear: Try hard not to let him be exposed to other sources of insecurity, such as TV news or frightening movies.

Finding Alternative Reading Material

Consider asking your children's librarian for books that address children's fears; there are many good options available. Also, look for exciting but less frightening books, like the Narnia Chronicles, which can provide excitement without being too scary.