Wet Again?
Our son just turned five and still needs to wear pull-ups at night. He learned how to use the toilet during the daytime when he was just over two, without much trouble or too many accidents. However, nighttime dryness has been a different story.
We've tried several methods to help him stay dry at night:
- Rewards: We offered rewards for dry pull-ups in the morning, but it only worked for a day.
- Accessibility: We placed a bucket in his room by the nightlight, but it made no difference.
- Reasoning and Encouragement: We've talked and reasoned with him extensively, but to no avail.
- Underwear: We tried switching him to underwear, but it resulted in accidents every night.
- Waking Him Up: We attempted to wake him up to use the bathroom, but he doesn't wake up well, cries, and often refuses to even try to pee.
The Issue: A Heavy Sleeper
Your description of what happens when you try to wake your son up provides a clue to the problem: he is a heavy sleeper. When he's asleep, he isn't able to pay attention to his bladder signals. This condition is very common, especially in boys.
No amount of good intentions on your part or his will make a difference; when he is asleep, he is truly asleep, and his bladder isn't yet big enough to hold his urine all night.
What Not to Do
- Give Up on Rewards and Reasoning: These methods will not be effective.
- Avoid Punitive Measures: Punishments like making the child wash his sheets or humiliating him verbally will only make him feel like a failure.
Why Are We So Concerned?
The main reason we parents want a child to be dry at night by age five is our own embarrassment about having a child who wets the bed. However, as long as pull-ups work, there's no need for your son to be fully trained yet. His body simply isn't ready.
What You Can Do
- Continue with Pull-Ups: Let him use the pull-ups.
- Reduce Evening Fluid Intake: This may help reduce the amount of urine produced during the night.
The Solution: Patience and Time
If you wait a few years, one of two things will happen:
- Natural Development: Your son will learn on his own to hold his urine for longer periods as his bladder grows larger.
- Self-Motivation: He may become motivated to stay dry at night because he wants to sleep over at friends' houses or go away to camp.
When It's Time for a Change
Once your son's nighttime wetness becomes a problem for him (rather than just for you), there is a method that can help:
The Wet Alarm Method
- What It Is: A Wet Alarm is a small device that attaches to the child's training pants. It sounds an annoying alarm when it detects the first drop of urine.
- How It Works: The child learns to wake up when his bladder is full to avoid the alarm sound. After a few nights of disturbed sleep, your son will learn to wake himself up, and the alarm will no longer be needed.
Wet Alarms can be found at department stores, such as Sears.
